Pretend For Me
by y-ye
Summary: [Ushijima/Hinata] "But... Since you've never been in a relationship, I'll help you!" / And this was the moment Hinata realized he'd gone way over his head by agreeing to help his dumb crush learn how to kiss, the tenderness one should hold a lover with, the way love would curl in his stomach... and yet never be that person.


Here they were, face to face over a glass table in Ushijima's flat, Hinata trying to puzzle out something out as he fiddled with the straw in his drink. The silence was oddly comfortable as they spent a few minute sitting in it.

What Hinata wanted to know was why Ushijima had asked him over.

Quick recap here- It may or may not have been completely Hinata's fault that the modeling agency he had worked for banned relationships if the employee was one of their models. It may not have been! There were one or two other paparazzi scandals at the same time for the same agency, but... Everyone did tend to blame Hinata because his had garnered the most attention what with it being between himself and Yachi Hitoka. Yachi was a manager for several models including Hinata at the time, and even after that they'd remained good friends. Still, it had not been well received, and thus the rule had caused much unhappiness among his coworkers.

Well, except for a notable few. Ushijima Wakatoshi being one of them- he'd been in the business of fame and fortune far longer than Hinata, and had never been interested in knowing what love was like. Or what love for another human being was like anyway. Hinata had his suspicions about how deep his feelings went for volleyball, but that was another story.

Until... The other day, Ushijima had been pushed into branching out into Hinata's specialty- Acting. It was just for a few episodes on some current hit as a disposable love interest which meant it should have been easy as far as Hinata was concerned. Except for Ushijima it wasn't because he had no idea how to go about looking lovesick or in love at all.

So to be more accurate, Hinata still wasn't quite sure why Ushijima had gone to him specifically. Oikawa was also deep into the acting scene; especially in romances, dramas, and soaps... Ushijima practically hounded Oikawa to do photoshoots with him so he must know what Oikawa did. So why...?

What made it so horrible was that Hinata had a crush on the tall model for quite a while now. His arrogance was well founded, his bluntness gave way to sincerity, not mention how he'd started to acknowledge Hinata as a rival instead of something below him. This spelled out a recipe for a terrible one sided love that would be hard for Hinata to let go of.

Ushijima cleared his throat abruptly, and Hinata went ramrod straight in his seat before realizing Ushijima was blinking at him in confusion. Slumping back into his chair, he decided to break the silence.

"What makes you think I know anything about love that you don't?"

Cheek leaning into his fist, Ushijima gave Hinata a blank look. "But you're the reason no one at the company can go on dates?"

Cheeks puffed out and tinged pink, Hinata glanced at Ushijima sullenly. "You-! M-maybe so, but you had many years before that to try! I'm two years younger than you." Turning his eyes back to his drink, he quietly huffed out, "You're asking me for help, not the other way around..." Eyes drifting around the table between them, Hinata started methodically popping his fingers.

This was a tough situation to balance. It may be a hard month or so, but on the other hand, Ushijima would owe him one. There were things to be said about Ushijima Wakatoshi owing a you favor. That was one of the few things Hinata knew and liked about the guy- his honesty and honorability. It would also allow Hinata to either become so exasperated he no longer has this crush on Ushijima, or lead to total ruin as he fell deeper. Was this his chance? "But... Since you've never been in a relationship, I'll help you! Let's play pretend, Ushiwaka~"

ooo

Thus, their pretend relationship started. Ushijima and Hinata started visiting each other, mostly at Hinata's place because it was closer to both of their sets. Hinata always started by getting them both barley tea to give Ushijima a minute to adjust.

Ushijima was about as pliable as a brick wall at first, sitting stiff and polite on the couch as Hinata leaned into him.

"Hey, don't worry. We're 'lovers' for now, aren't we?" With a slight giggle, Hinata looked up to see Ushijima's ears redden as his eyes remained glued to Hinata's face. Grin slowly stretching over his face, he entwined his fingers over the back of Ushijima's hand.

"Aren't you being a bit forward?" He sounded gruff with nerves. Shaking his head, Hinata squeezed Ushijima's hand briefly.

"Nah! See, if the person you liked was this so close Ushiwaka, wouldn't you want to be skin to skin as long as possible?"

Hinata knew it first hand, in this moment. Lifting his head, their eyes locked and Hinata waited. When Ushijima continued to stare at him, growing more flustered by the second, he sighed.

"You do know what's supposed to happen next, right?" Remaining suspiciously silent, Ushijima squinted. "Geez... I'll start from the ground up then! You're the guy in the script, right, so you should initiate this!"

Sliding a hand behind Ushijima's head, he closed his eyes and brought their lips together chastely. There was barely any motion in it, just Ushijima letting Hinata guide him for a moment, and then Hinata drew back. Opening his eyes, he noticed Ushijima staring raptly at him with a now entirely red face.

"Did you close your eyes?" Shaking his head, Ushijima broke eye contact and started at his tea for a moment before grabbing it with both hands. "Next time you should! Still, your face it beet red! How're you gonna do the scene like this?" And it was so easy to tease Ushijima in this moment for how innocent he looked.

"I'll manage," Ushijima muttered into his tea. "Let's go over the script..."

"Okay. We'll try the conversation after the kiss..." Pawing through the script, he flicked his gaze between the pages and Ushijima's cooling face. When he found the scene, he took the tea and shoved the script into Ushijima's hands. "Give me a performance here! Make me fall in love with you," Hinata teased lightly as he brushed his fingers across Ushijima's face tenderly as the script called for.

Ushijima glanced over the lines before looking back up at Hinata. Stretching out a hand tentatively to rest on Hinata's cheek, he lowered his lashes and quietly professed, "Our time apart will not separate my love from you. Wherever we go, my heart will follow you forever," And here he leaned down to Hinata's ear, and Hinata felt his pulse jump, "Hitsuna." Feeling the thumb run over his bottom lip, Hinata's eyes drifted downward.

For a brief moment, he'd heard the 'Hi' in 'Hitsuna' and thought for a heart stopping moment Ushijima was going to say 'Hinata' instead.

And this was the moment Hinata realized he'd gone way over his head by agreeing to help his dumb crush learn how to kiss, the tenderness one should hold a lover with, the way love would curl in his stomach... and yet never be that person.

"Once more, Ushijima. Breathe with the commas..."

The stone grew and grew in his throat as he leaned up, brushing the back of his fingers against Ushijima's cheekbones tenderly and awaited the line with a name that was not his own to be murmured so tenderly against his ear once more.

Ushijima was a quick study- it sounded more sincere every day.

ooo

They bonded with more couple like activities, from watching horror movies to sharing drinks. With both of them being the same gender, the paparazzi didn't follow them if they decided to go out on these 'dates' of theirs. Still, Hinata liked it best when they just sat next to each other and Ushijima leaned his head against the top of Hinata's. The way Ushijima slumped against him felt so real.

Sometimes Hinata got so caught up he thought the happiness he felt was mutual. Like they weren't just playing pretend for work.

ooo

"I don't know what to do," Hinata admitted one night after Ushijima had gone home, words spilling over the phone to Kageyama, who no doubt let Kunimi hear his words too. "Having him here is so easy now. What if I get used to it? What happens when the month is up?"

"You take a few vindictive ex-lover roles, devour as many meat buns as you want, and feel sorry for yourself for a week or so." Kageyama makes it sound so predictable.

"You can take a break. Avoid him until the burn dies down and you can look him in the eyes without wanting to cry." Ah, that's Kunimi's voice. "Or you can figure out if you want to try and hold on." Those words were filled with a belief that Hinata couldn't puzzle out. Maybe it was because Kunimi was mainly a singer. Maybe it was just because he'd been somewhere like this before with Kageyama.

ooo

Finally the day was here. Ushiwaka's role would end tomorrow, and so the line he'd been saying over and over to Hinata would disappear. They'd part ways once more, only seeing glances of each other in the halls or on the streets as they rushed to different sets and photoshoots.

Hinata might have bought quite a few meat buns and stashed them in his fridge, just in case.

It would end like it started, with barley tea and a conversation.

Ushijima came in, and Hinata finished setting down the cups of tea. The words to welcome Ushijima home passed his lips without thought. Straightening up, he didn't manage to turn around before Ushijima was hugging his loosely.

"What's up? You aren't usually like this," Hinata asked, curling a hand over Ushijima's arm as he leaned back into him.

"Work was hard today." And Hinata would never have thought before all this that Ushijima could admit to being tired like anyone else. Turning around in his loose grip, Hinata leaned his head just under Ushijima's shoulder.

"Tell me about it."

This time they were standing like Ushijima would have to on set tomorrow unknowingly. Running his hands slowly up Ushijima's back as the grip around his tightened, he savoured the give of skin and fabric under his fingertips. He let Ushijima draw him in again, held close to Ushijima's body as if he was confessing those lines once more.

'It hurts,' Hinata thought in that moment, pressed worryingly tight to Ushijima's chest. 'So much more than it used to...' Clutching at the handful of fabric over the back of Ushijima's heart, his eyes stung.

"...will follow you forever," Hinata tuned back in just in time to hear, eyes widening as he heard- "Hinata."

The world paused for a moment as they both processed what Ushijima had just said.

"Huh?!" And Ushijima let go of him suddenly, both their faces tinted deep red. "You got the name mixed up now?!"

"Ah. Sorry," And Ushijima was reaching for him again.

"Just don't do it during the scene tomorrow." Hinata sighed, guiding Ushijima to sit down on the couch. "We can go over it again, seeing as you mixed up the name..."

Silently he apologized to Kunimi. It seems his heart just wasn't strong enough to try and see if they would work out.

ooo

The next day, he called in sick to work. Sleep had eluded him the entire night and had seen fit to return in small bursts as the day brightened. Maybe he was really sick, or at least heartsick.

Kageyama texted back and forth with him during his wakeful periods, and even came over for lunch with Kunimi.

"How dense can one man be," Kageyama muttered angrily, tearing into one of the many meat buns now in Hinata's possession. "I saw how you looked at him!" Waving his meat bun in Hinata's general direction aggressively, he spoke through a mouthful of meat. "Even when you just saw a poster of him! All heart eyes and constant glances."

"You have no right to call anyone else dense," Kunimi commented bluntly after swallowing a bite. "But I must admit I don't understand why he didn't confess to you. You guys looked like you belonged, y'know?"

"I do," Hinata murmured into his cup of barley tea. He was just finishing the last of the bottle he'd bought from the store, you see. Not wallowing. "But it's over now. I'm gonna eat all these meat buns, meet up with Kenma to hangout at the arcade after that, and forget this. This thing."

"You eat all of these and you won't be able to meet Kenma because you'll be spilling your guts to the toilet for the rest of the day," Kunimi drawled practically. Kageyama nodded along with his words.

"Fiiiine, I'll just eat a few more and then I'll get ready."

It wasn't long before they had to go back to the studio though. Hinata was steadily making his way through his food when he sent them off at the door.

"Good luck, Hinata." Kageyama and Kunimi said before rushing off. Tilting his head to the side, he couldn't make heads nor tails of their words. Good luck with what?

It was five thirty before Hinata and Kenma were both ready to meet up at the arcade. He'd worked hard to make himself look presentable despite lack of sleep and his woes, which might have been why Ushijima looked so stunned when Hinata opened the door and found him there with key in hand.

"Ushiwa- I mean, Ushijima, what're you doing here?"

"Ushiwaka is fine." And then he leaned in such a way the doorway was completely blocked. Hinata swallowed "Where are you going? I thought you were sick."

"It was only a mild bug, I'm much better now!" Not really, but he really wanted to get out of here and away from Ushijima. It made his chest throb harder with every moment. "I'm off to see Kenma!"

"Kenma?"

"Kenma's my old friend! Well, we dated for a bit, but-"

"You're not dating him again are you?"

"So what if I was? It doesn't have anything to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me," Ushijima's tone was low and seething. His whole body screamed danger and Hinata just wanted to get around him and go. "Seeing as I love you."

"Lo-" Hinata choked out before paling. "You never said anything about l-lo-loving me!"

"Well. I do love you, Hinata." Now Ushijima was herding him backwards, and he hadn't even noticed until the door clicked shut behind him. "Do you not love me?"

"No!" Hinata choked out desperately, trying to convey just how much he'd been wanting in that singular word, "I'm yours, I've been yours, but you-" He made a frustrated noise.

"I'm here. You taught me what love is, and that's what we have." His hand cupped Hinata's cheek so tenderly. Just like so many times before.

"But you'll have to kiss other people for your job," Hinata said wetly even as he leaned into Ushijima's hand. "You had to kiss that actress for your job just a few hours ago. That's what started this whole thing, so what if you're mistaken?"

"I'm not wrong," Ushijima insisted, using his free hand to pull Hinata in closer. "Kissing her felt nothing like kissing you. We didn't fit together at all. I fit here. With you." Brushing his lips against the crown of Hinata's head, he sighed softly into orange locks. "Give me a chance."

"You better do this right," Swaying on his feet, Hinata leaned heavily into Ushijima. "...Continue?"

"I'm not sure we should continue when you're dead on your feet." Feeling his feet leaving the floor, Hinata suddenly realized Ushijima was scooping him up to take him back to sleep. "...Today was hard."

A small smile grew on Hinata's lips even as his eyes started to shut. "Tell me about it."


End file.
